I had two names.
My pseudonym, Cassie Kennedy, was born when I became a writer. Working for Police Scotland as a Researcher it seemed like a good idea at the time, I didn’t examine the reasons why I needed to embrace another identity. I only trusted my instincts.
Cassie Kennedy become my champion, the more confident part of myself and I gloried in her presence. When fear shrunk Lisa, Cassie came to protect her.
The dichotomy is I didn’t acknowledge or accept my need to hide within another identity. Now in retrospect, I understand why. Cassie was my protector and like a lioness with her young cub, she kept me safe. And I’m forever grateful because when I could not see in the dark, she took my hand in hers and led me into the light.
I will be forever grateful to her, my family and my friends for helping me to see Lisa. Lisa May to be exact named because my Mum, the original lioness, liked the name and May, after my kind-hearted and loving Gran.
For years, Lisa hid in the dark, scared of moving, scared of making a noise and scared of being hurt because she didn’t understand anything other than fear.
In the last year, I’ve found these twin energies are more alike than I gave them credit for. It turns out Lisa is independent, determined and spirited and she smiles and laughs regularly. And I have delighted in making her re-acquaintance.
To those who know me as either Lisa or Cassie I’ll still answer to both and I’m thankful for your understanding. For I am both vulnerable and brave.
I am me.