I miss my Nana and Granddad.
For the last few days, I have felt nostalgic. For most of my life, I have been incredibly lucky. Until 4 years ago, I had all my grandparents and I am very fortunate to still have my Gran and Granddad. A delightful couple that make me laugh with their bickering and humble me with their obvious love for each other.
All I know is that as the year draws to a close, like many others, I feel the loss of those no longer here even more keenly.
All I know is that my Nana and Granddad are never too far way.
This year, I have felt my Granddad Andy every time I walked through his golf club and looked around for his car. I would smile when offered an Werther’s original and last week I got teary when I opened a box and found his handkerchief, neatly folded in two, just as it had been when he handed it to me to keep safe. Andy Young was a gentleman and he is never too far away because when I look and speak to my Dad I see him.
My Nana makes her presence felt on a daily basis. Earlier this year, when I was researching her family history. I found myself in MacDuff Cemetery in East Wemyss and hearing her voice say “up near the castle, at the back.” Directions that for me, the eternal lost traveller, proved fortuitous. Looking at the gravestone, I could hardly believe I was finally meeting her ‘Granny from the Toll’.
The original Jessie.
My Nana’s middle name and the name I affectionately called the manuscript of TKC. So this weekend, it seemed only right to take a wreath and pay tribute to my great, great grandparents George and Jessie Dewar and my great Aunt Kate for the help I received beyond the veil. Where love has no barriers.
I still bought my Nana and Granddad a Christmas card this year and left it at their tree. It seemed wrong not to as she would religiously count them every year and was never satisfied until they reached the magical number of 40 but nearing 50 was better.
And when I found my flat it seemed fated that its location would be directly opposite Nana’s church. She definitely had a hand in it.
And while I miss them, the memories, so full of light and laughter, make me smile. I may not see them anymore but I know, in my heart, that they are never too far away.
There is something about Christmas, that makes us remember, that makes us kinder, that makes us celebrate our family and friends more.
It’s about paying tribute to your past and making new memories for the future.
It’s about Love.
Love is all that matters.