It’s taken me two years to start writing my new book.
This was not deliberate. The story was always lulling about in my head, like a cinema screen playing on a continual loop with scenes of rich characters bejewelled by circumstances and fate.
For the last year I have been promising myself that I would put pen to paper and I did, I wrote a book. But it didn’t feel right. Like I was writing the ghost of a story when the real one was actually buried deep within.
Then life intervened, the study of psychology and counselling consumed me. And as I learned to be mindful and elevate my self awareness I asked myself why I was not writing the story I am meant too.
The reason when it came was unexpected.
Visiting Samye Ling recently, I explored the surrounding scenery and found myself on a pebble strewn beach as the Solway Firth flowed past. The area glowed with sunlight and was held together with a series of small waterfalls. It was beautiful.
Sitting down on the rocks with my notebook and dipping my painted toenails into the water to cool in the sun I started to write. I finally started to write my new book, as it is meant to be written.
And in the midst of writing, I paused as I got the ‘why’. Why I had hesitated, procrastinated and distracted myself. It was because I needed to take a moment for myself. It was because I had to stay still for me.
I needed to be selfless in my self-care.
I’m the Queen of busy, working without a pause, so much so I feel guilty for taking time for myself. On that day watching the water trickle as nature decreed, I realised the pause, instead of a punishment in waiting had been the most precious gift.
To write this story, I had to understand who I was and where I had come from and it was only once this process had been completed the gift was bestowed and the story in its entirety was revealed.
Sometimes a pause, even for a couple of years, is worth every single moment and the learning is a treasure and in some instances it takes sitting by the river in the middle of the Scottish lowlands to see it.
So, if I could leave you with one parting wish, I would like it to be this; give the story time to float down the river and when it arrives let it sing in your bones. Be out of time and embrace the learning.
It’s definitely worth waiting for.